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by : Tomleecee | written on :15/06/2009 | permalink

House of Hell

Housemates from hell

I recently moved into a shared house, which at first I thought was great. I'd previously been living on a military base and was tired of it, so thought that moving into privatley rented pad with some housemates would be the perfect way to have a semi-normal 'civvy' life again. At first, this was most definatley the case. Until I discovered to my abject horror that the landlord had a spare key to the house and would routinely let himself in whenever he wanted...and sleep on the living room sofa! No notice was ever given - it was totally random. Sometimes he'd be there on the sofa when I got up, other times he wasn't. I found this a bit strange and enquired if it was a regular thing and one of my housemates (who we'll meet later) said he'd been doing it for as long as she'd lived there. Not on my watch. I told him it was out of order and that it was quite possibly illegal. He stopped doing it for a few weeks...and then he was back again. On another occasion he turned up with his young daughter and they took over the living-room for an entire week. When said room is the only one with a TV, you can understand how annoying it became after a few days.

This isn't the only thing. One of my actual housemates (and not the lodging landlord) is fucking obsessed with washing up...and then putting everything away in the noisiest manner possible. Why???? First thing in the morning...knives and forks being banged back into their draws. Last thing at night...plates and cups being smashed back into the cupboard. Once she came in after a night on the town and started doing the washing 3am!

You may be thinking "so what, at least you don't have to do it..." but this is besides the point when your bedroom is directly above the kitchen and you can hear every single bash and crash amplified through the floor. AAAAAAAAAARGH! It's 12am...why wait till now to do your washing up?!?!?! It gets worse. The same housemate also has a cat that I'm sure is the feline equivalent of Violet Bouregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It meows constantly first thing in the morning because it wants feeding. It meows constantly at midday because it wants feeding. It meows constantly at 5.30pm (on the frigging dot, I might add) becasue it wants feeding. It won't eat the food unless it's OCD owner feeds it. If she isn't in the house, it just sits there staring at the front door meowing incessantly until she comes through it. I'd personally like to see ANYONE not want to kill the fucking thing after living in this house for more than a week.

Same housemate also invites her fella over to stay several nights a week. He snores like a T-Rex, but she keeps her bedroom door open so the spoilt twat of a cat can go in and out of her room. This means that I and my other housemate (with whom, incidentally, I have no problems with) have to listen to the oaf bluster his way through the night. How the hell can she sleep next to that?!

All of the cups and plates have to be in their own little places. The kettle must always be full to the top before it is used (???) and must only be filled from a filter jug (because tap water is evil, I presume) and none of the rooms may contain ornaments or photographs that belong to anyone but OCD-woman. If you do use a piece of crockery to cook a meal, you must wash it and put it away before you start to eat your meal or else OCD will hurry into the kitchen and wash it up whilst you're eating. Relax? not in this house my friend.

Ultimatley, I shall be moving out before the end of the week, and so ends the most uncomfortable 4 months of my life.

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2009/06/15 16:41 - peter writes:
you just needed to by some ear plugs :) then befriend the cat and watch the owner go crazy she it wants you to play and not her.
2009/06/16 20:38 - HadToBeMe writes:
I can't believe the landlord was just randomly hanging out in your flat. Nightmare. Don't miss house shares one bit. Hope your next home is better!
2009/06/18 17:24 - gumbo writes:
sounded like a rubbish place to live
2010/04/13 00:58 - auzboi writes:
OCD bro... OCD!!!!


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