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by : Anonymous | written on :14/01/2014 | permalink

I need help..

I've been dumped

Okay..so it's a bit complicated. I just came out a few years ago, and I've been having trouble finding a boyfriend. I wouldn't say I was desperate but after 16 years of hiding, you want to find someone. Anyways, I found this guy online and we'd been talking for about 8 months. My mother knows about him, and we Skyped from time to time. There was nothing dangerous about him. I knew he wasn't some online rapist or anything. But after a while, he decided that he wanted to visit me, and being 500 miles away, I naturally refused, because to be fair, that would be pretty costly. But he insisted, and ended up coming down here. He was a great guy. Funny, smart, handsome..he was in college though, and had a pretty tight schedule. So he only stayed for the weekend. But it was the best 2 days I've had in a long time. A month later, I confessed to him that I was in love with him. He didn't really say anything about it (he later told me he didn't say it back because he didn't want to hurt me and because he wanted to say it in person) but around this time he decided that a long distance relationship wouldn't work, and that he just wanted to be friends.. I was pretty much heartbroken, and severely depressed to the point where I needed some therapy..I had grown so attached to him, and I just couldn't handle being friends with him. Later, I took a whole month away from him, just to get my mind off of things and ease into a friendship. He says that he would jump at any opportunity to be with me, and I believe him..but it's just so unlikely that I would be able to move close to him anytime soon.. After the break, our conversations aren't the same anymore...and not like 'no flirting' or anything, but it was different. And that upset me. I decided to be his friend, and that we would date other people UNTIL we could actually be together again..but I just can't. I'm an extremely jealous type, and I can't imagine him being with anyone else..it tears me apart. I only want to be with him. I loved him, and he drove 500 miles just to take me on a date. That is literally the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, and that's one of the many reasons why I can't let go. Our conversations nowadays are so dull and are shortlived. We barely talk anymore..and it's upsetting. I just want to be with him. I know I would be beyond happy if I were. But because I'm not, I am just so depressed all of the time, and I'm just tired of it. I can't socialize or eat or anything anymore. It's gotten ridiculous, and I just need help.

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