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by : abandon | written on :08/06/2009 | permalink

Why do guys do this?

I've been dumped

okay, it has to be another chica, it just has too. I can not seem to come up of with any other reasons, why he wpuld dump me and be so heartless and cold about??!!??

This is how it all went down .... 2nd month, he told me he loved me. I really felt the same way, but I wouldn't say it back because that is HUGE word for me. I needed to feel like he meant it, in order for me to put myself out there ... even though I was feeling the same way, I was still afraid.

Also within that 2nd month, he had some drama with his ex-wife and the kids and he actually cried to me (like twice) telling me, he wished he would had his kids with me, it would be so much easier. I was flattered but at the same time, it was weird hearing him to say something like... right?! Anyway, I begged him not to say things like that because it was so unfair to his x-wife and if his two kids, ever heard him say that, I know they would be completely confused and hurt.. So basically by this time, I really felt he loved me, and I wasn't afraid anymore. I trusted him that when he said he loved me, he really did.

Everything was so great, we had fun, hung out all the time, laughed alot, my dad really liked him, I liked his family and I fell in love with his kids. We had alot in common except kids, I don't have any. I did get protective of what was said and done around them. Not just with what I said and done, but him as well. And if I said something that I was or wasn't going to do, I meant it. He on the other hand would not follow through (that was the only real difference between us with the kiddos)Only because I know forsure what what words and yelling can do to a kid's self esteem, especially when their mom & dad are divorced.

Anyway, so I started to recognize flags on the field, like not calling as much, not making plans automatically like he always did, he wasn't as affectionate and caring anymore either. He would say he would do something, and then just wouldn't. So I called him out and asked him (this was late April), not mean, or rude, I just simply asked him if he felt different about us and our relationship? I even mentioned to him the flags on the field .... all of them .... I asked, if I was doing something around the kids that was bugging him? He assured me, no, nothing has changed, he Loved Me (yeah-right).

It was still a struggle for me because my gut feeling was not buying it at all, but I tried so hard not to over analyze. And believe in him,because I love him.

Then I went to Dallas to see my mom (man, I missed him, couldn't wait to see him when I got back that Monday), another flag on the field .... he was not missing me, just like blah.... no big deal .... (oh man, my heart was crushed because I knew something was way wrong)

So I then asked him again almost begging, to please just let me know now if he is no longer feeling the same way about me and it's ok if he didn't. Because I would rather know now, than for anything to happen. I mentioned to him how its so unfair to me, to the kids and to even him to be with someone, his heart no longer loves. He again, said, nothing's changed. I didn't believe him at all, but his birthday was coming up, the kids were coming over to his house for the week. And of course, I didn't want to kids to worry that something was going on. Well I put on my "fake-it till I make it" face and hung out with them, but he was distant. (all those flags were bright yellow) "caution sistah" .......

That Friday before his birthday, I took his kids to hobby lobby to get some craft stuff so they can make their dad's birthday shirts. And that was it. I went home that night, he called late on Saturday only to say "what are you doing?", "what are you going to do?" & "I will call you later" Oh and he didn't ....

He called Sunday (late afternoon), I didn't answer. Within that first week his birthday, he called only twice, I still didn't answer. Mainly because he could or would not txt or leave me a voice message to apologize or ask if we could talk .... nada! And since then, nada! I even went by his house on Saturday morning (like a big dummy), but I wanted to pick my black purse (I had text him several times asking to please drop it off at my dads, no worries to see me) nada! So I went over early Saturday morning, oh man! He was so cold, didn't even ask me in. I apologized for bothering him, I'm just picking up my purse. Well he said, he hadn't seen it, and that was it. I said Thank You and walked to my car with my heart in my hand.

He was separated for almost a year, He was officially divorced in last October, I started dating him in November ....... Was freaking Re-bound ??? ...... Man, I totally didn't even see it that way!

As for beating myself, I really have done too much of that past few weeks, but boy it's starting to hit me like freight train :{ But I refuse to let beat me down, I'm better than that :}

I don't regret loving him, believing in him. I'm grateful for all that I have learned from him and I will never talked bad about him. I just pray and hope that he does right by his children because they should always be the Most Important People in his life, always.

Would I go back to him? Humm, let see .... He hurt me, he disrespected me by breaking up without me straight up and be honest, like a real man. He couldn't be real with his feelings or communicate with me .

No Way! I can not even be friends with him! I won't be ugly when I see him, I'll say HEY or HI .... but I know I will not have a conversation with him about anything. No need Anymore :)

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2009/06/17 16:23 - hellno writes:
Don't sweat it girl. Some guys are cowards, they can't be honest with themselves so they can't or know how to be honest with others. Sad but True! Hang in there, Mr. Right who can communicate and love at the same time is out there somewhere!
2009/07/20 10:04 - ckarhizma writes:
like what you in the top he dumped you and be heartless, tha is exactly he did to me. but until now i am still trying to talk but yeah he wont stop being mean to me and call me names. the last thing he told me is im a psycho :( i wish i can be like strong as you that you wouldnt talk to him anymore. i wish i can :(

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