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by : Toasted | written on :29/11/2011 | permalink

Supressed Emotions

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I just can't take it anymore! Okay, first a little background information: I live in a perfect little cookie-cutter suburban house with married, straight parents of European decent with two darling younger sisters. We've got more than anough money to support us and a safe little park down the street. But then I made the dire error of becoming aware of other people in the world. I know, horrible of me, isn't it? So it started by me watching Food Inc. and learning about large corporations and their ways of scamming everyone. Because my father works for a large corporation I grew up thinking these companies were my friend but I discovered I was wrong. Then I took an Environmental Science course in school and join the schools Green Team. That was alright for my parents because my school life hadn't ever hugely affected them. Enviro Science led to learning about children in Africa, impovorished countries, diseases etc. so I started talking about issues like that more and more frequently within the hearing range of my parents. They didn't like that. By the end of that year I could barely open my mouth without someone rolling their eyes. My family just can't get their heads around the fact that there are serious issues in the world and we CAN do something about it. It doesn't stop there though. I then started to explore the world myself. In the summer I took transit into Toronto everyday for a week for an art class and it was like another world down there with so much creativity and personality and expression. My suburban neighbourhood seemed so flat and dull after that experience. Now I know that's not "exploring the world" but I did take a trip to Europe earlier this moth and I was there for over a week with no parental supervision and everything just opened up. I was happy and social and energetic in a way that I never will be here. Do you know what it's like to be in the constant presence of people who genuinely enjoy your company? To have them compliment you honestly and give you a hug "just because"? To have them say every day at random times how much they love you? To be able to give all that back to them with just as much enthusiasm? Well tht was what it was like for a glorious 10 days. And then I had to come back. It's the complete opposite of my trip to Europe with my friends. Here I am constantly being put down and putting other people down as a result. Here I'm not aloud to laugh too loud or dance because I feel like it. I'm not aloud to cry. To scream. To hit or kick. I must be mature and pleasant and completely 100% normal. Well guess what? I don't care about my sister' new bra or the up-coming episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras" or the make-up I'm supposed to cover my naturally lovely feautures with. That stuff doesn't matter! People matter. Happiness matters. Living life to it's fullest matters.

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